Captivate Network: Captions

Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.

--Oliver Wilde

Please include your name and location, and we may run your caption in the elevators!

In this Feb. 13, 2008 file photo, Former New York Yankees baseball pitcher Roger Clemens testifies before the House Oversight, and Government Reform Committee on Capitol Hill in Washington. A federal judge said Monday he is "agonizing" over the status of a defamation lawsuit Clemens filed against his former personal trainer, who accused the pitcher of using performance-enhancing drugs. (AP Photo)

'I solemnly swear I am up to no good.'

--Teresa, GA

'.... Be gentle.'

--Nicholas W., Boston

'I swear I will be as truthful as a politician.'

--Ted F., Atlanta

'Are you really going to call me 'Mr. Clemens'? I was just getting used to 'Roidy McJuiceHead.''

--Kyle M., Bronx, NY

'Could I have another water bottle, please? My meds make me thirsty.'

--Dan W., Houston

'Why's he calling me meat? I'm the one driving a Porsche.'

--Rob G.

'Uh, can anybody help me get this thing unstuck from my chin?'

--Barbara E., NYC

'Note to self: Maybe I'll try vitamins next time!'

--Louie P. Phoenix, AZ

'Yes your honor. I cut my own hair with the Flow Bee Hair Cutting System. My wife’s not too happy about it either.'

--Stephan H., Houston

'Roger Clemens before the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee denying that the microphone-like appendage jutting from his chin was a side effect of Human Growth Hormone even though he was sitting at a desk that had only a hidden wireless microphone.'

--Scott C., Long Beach

'That depends on what you mean by "is".'

--Kenneth F., Hauppauge, NY

'Haven't you people got anything better to do?'

--Dan, Eagleville, PA

'This doesn't look good. When did Mike Piazza get elected?'

--Al S., NYC

'I hope that empty plastic cup in front of me isn’t for what I think it is…'

--Scott P.

'Steroids in "Baseball Games"? Oh, I thought you said "Reindeer Games", because I have NEVER used them in reindeer Games.'

--Lois M., NYC

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